


Barduil Domestic Drabbles and Then Some

by prettypaperdoll



Series: Barduil Domestic Drabbles [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Drabbles, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Modern AU, Romance, Thranduil tries to cook, maybe smut?, not sure yet - Freeform, tolkien universe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3213974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettypaperdoll/pseuds/prettypaperdoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Collection of Barduil Domestic Drabbles, mostly fluffy and funny with added romance on the side. The tags will be updated with each new drabble that's added. Feel free to send prompts to gamoraaaaa.tumblr.com and I will answer them ASAP! Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy!</p>
<p>First Prompt: Thranduil Attempts to Cook Breakfast for Bard</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> While chatting with my trash-bag Barduil Buddies, we started talking about adorable OTP prompts and I was inspired to write this fluffy garbage. Anyway, thanks to my loves and their awesome support. <3

It was the putrid stink of something burning that woke Bard first. Then the smoke alarm went off. He threw the covers off and ran into the kitchen, expecting to see Tilda trying to make her own breakfast again. It took him a moment to register what was happening, but he finally realized that Thranduil was standing on a chair in a smoke filled kitchen, shushing the fire alarm.

”Shut up! For the love of God, just shut up!”

It wasn’t until the incessant beeping stopped that Thranduil even noticed Bard, bleary eyed and confused.

”What are you doing?” Bard rasped out. “Are you trying to set fire to the house?”

With a sigh, Thranduil stepped off the chair. “No. I was trying to make you breakfast. Things just got a little heated.” He smirked at his own joke and Bard couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

”Do you want some help?”

”No.” Thranduil answered sternly. “I want you to sit down and relax. I made you some tea.” He pointed to the steaming cup on the bar.

Bard obeyed without another word. He knew when Thranduil had his mind set on something, he wasn’t going to be dissuaded easily. So he took the cup and moved to the kitchen table, sitting down. He watched the silver-haired wannabe chef move about, adding this and that to whatever he was making. From the smell of it, Thranduil was making him eggs, but when he saw him adding cinnamon, he wasn’t quite sure anymore.

He craned his neck to see if he could get a better look, but he was met with the Thranduil’s icy stare. “Go away, Bard. Go take a shower or something.”

”It’s just I saw you adding-“

”No.”

”But I-“

”Remember that sex we were ever going to have again?” Thranduil looked more serious than Bard would have liked.

Bard finally raised his hands in defeat, standing up. “Okay, okay. I’m going to take a shower.” He turned to go, glancing over his shoulder one last time to see Thranduil bustling around again. He had to admit, it was rather cute.

Once he was showered and felt he had delayed long enough that Thranduil wouldn’t kick him out of the house altogether, he went back to dining room. A plate had been laid out for him with silverware in a neatly folded napkin and a glass of juice. Peering into the kitchen, he saw Thranduil washing the dishes.

”Is it safe?” Bard called.

Thranduil tried to keep from smiling, but failed. He shut the water off, turning to Bard. “Yes, it’s safe.”

Bard’s first guess was right; his love had indeed made eggs. Except they were more than a little burnt along with the toast laying beside it. He knew Thranduil was watching him, waiting for Bard to take the first bite. Hesitantly, he took the fork and dug into the first bite. The taste at first was horrible, then he started chewing more and the foreign flavors that shouldn’t go with eggs attacked his taste buds. It was all Bard could do to even swallow it down. He glanced up at Thranduil, who observed from across the bar.

”Well?”

Bard nodded, trying as best he could to put on a face other than disgust. “These are…amazing.”

A wide smile broke out on Thranduil’s face. “See? It’s not the end of the world to let someone do things for you once in awhile.”

Bard would beg to differ, but he wasn’t going to say that outloud. The truth was that he really loved with Thranduil did. It was rare to be taken care of, especially when three other people depended on him so much. What he loved more was the look of pure triumph on Thranduil’s face. He knew cooking wasn’t a past time for his lover, considering he had been served his entire life, so despite the burned toast and weird spices, he would let Thranduil have this accomplishment.

After downing the entire glass of juice (one can only take so much charcoal in their mouth), Bard stood up and swept Thranduil into a hug.

”Thank you. I really appreciate what you did.”

Thranduil pulled back, a sly smile on his lips. “Even though you didn’t like it.”

”Wha-? I didn’t-” Bard stuttered.

”I know you didn’t, love. You are many things Bard, but an actor is not one of them. I saw from the first bite that you didn’t think it was good.” Thranduil pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. “It’s okay. I’m just surprised you ate all of it.”

”I didn’t want to upset you.” Bard murmured.

”I appreciate the concern, but I wouldn’t have been upset.”

Bard gave him a look.

”Okay, I might have been disappointed, but I wouldn’t have been upset.” Thranduil wrapped his arms around Bard’s waist.

”So, can I give you some pointers?” Bard inquired sheepishly.

”I have a better idea.” The other smirked. “Let’s just leave the cooking to you, okay?”

”Deal.”

And they sealed it with a kiss.


	2. Sending Pictures to Bard While He's at Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My friend Mona asked: Colleagues assume that Bard always goes really, really quiet and has to go to phone his boyfriend when he gets a message from Thranduil because he’s getting suggestive nudes from his super hot boyfriend; the real reason is that Thranduil keeps sending him different ikebana arrangements he made with and around Bard’s bow, which has been a heirloom for centuries. Bonus if there sometimes are nudes mixed in there too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt is awesome (because it's Mona) and I dummed it up with fluffy stuff. Anyway, enjoy!

BZZZZZZZ!

Bard froze, fumbling for the power button on his cell phone before vibrated again. It was the third time since they started the meeting and his boss was clearly done with all of it.

”Bard. Do you need to get that?”

”No. It’s nothing. Just a text message.” He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. Everyone was staring at him.

”Well, if you could turn off the vibration and get back to the tasks at hand, we would be most appreciative.”

Bard nodded. “Sorry.” He glanced down at his phone and saw that he had three picture messages from Thranduil. There was no telling what they were. His curiosity got the better of him and while the boss’ back was turned, he quickly opened the files.

One of his colleagues looked over and saw Bard smiling, biting down on his bottom lip. It wasn’t until he cleared his throat that Bard looked up and put his phone away pretending like nothing had happened. The meeting was almost over and he had to excuse himself. The rest of the staff exchanged glances knowingly.

Bard stepped out in the hallway, dialing his boyfriend. “Hey, uh, you really need to stop messaging me so much. Because I’m in a meeting, that’s why.”

A secretary tried as best she could to ignore the conversation.

”I know you want me to see them, but I can see it in person when I get home can’t I? Okay. I’ll talk to you later.” He hung up, meeting eyes with the secretary who quickly went back to her computer.

Later that day he was in the middle of lunch when his phone vibrated again. He moved to a table in the far corner (and away from prying eyes) before he checked. Bard ended up calling Thranduil again, turning his back on those who were suddenly very interested in what he had to say. One of the receptionists was sitting close enough that she could pick up bits and pieces the conversation.

”It’s beautiful. Yes. I’m at lunch now, so it’s okay. No, I don’t mind, keeping sending them. Okay, love you.” When Bard turned back around, everyone suddenly remembered they had to do something very important.

Bard’s assistant brought him a stack of papers, surprised when she saw him jump a little and hide his phone under the desk.

”Uhm, he needs these ASAP.” She averted her eyes, noticing the tinges of pink blooming on Bard’s cheeks.

”Thank you.”

She stayed standing in the office awkwardly until Bard asked. “Was there something else?”

”No, no. I’ll just…be right out here.” She smiled and left his office, stifling a giggle as she shut the door.

She couldn’t help but peek in his window every few minutes, watching him alternate between doing his work and checking his phone. Finally, Bard noticed her snooping and let down the blinds, giving her a wry smile.

The end of the day came and Bard gathered up his things. Before he could escape, however, the boss called him into his office. Bard had a feeling what this was about.

”You know our policy on using personal phones during work hours.”

Bard nodded. “Yes sir. It’s just-” he paused. “My boyfriend can be really persistent. I apologize. It won’t happen tomorrow.”

The boss leaned back in his leather chair. “But this happens everyday, Bard.”

”I know. I’ll talk to him this evening.”

”I’m guessing you haven’t heard the rumors that float around, have you?”

”What rumors?” Bard frowned.

 

Bard opened the front door with a sigh. “I’m home!”

He was met with hugs from Tilda and Bain. Sigrid was setting the table for dinner.

”Hey, dad.”

He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Where’s Thranduil?”

”In the garden. He’s been out there since we got home. I think he’s making something for you.”

Bard made his way the garden in the backyard, smiling at the mess of flowers and around Thranduil’s bare feet. He watched silently, listening as Thranduil hummed an unknown tune and arranged flowers around his family’s heirloom, a long bow made of yew. Finally, he walked behind his lover and slid his arms around his slender waist.

”You almost got me in trouble today.” He murmured in Thranduil’s long, silver hair.

”Oh? How so?” He tilted his head, examining this latest arrangement of flowers.

”My boss and everyone else in the office thinks you are sending me, oh what did he call them?” He thought, anchoring his chin on Thranduil’s shoulder. “Inappropriate pictures of the sexual nature.” Bard mimicked his boss’ nasally voice.

At this, Thranduil laughed out loud, turning to look at Bard. “I’m sure if you told him I was sending Ikebana arrangements, that uncultured clod would still think it was inappropriate.”

”Probably. But, despite the nature of the pictures, we really do need to take it down a notch.”

His boyfriend sighed. “Fine. Take the fun out of everything won’t you?” He smirked, giving Bard a sweet kiss. “Besides, I wouldn’t take ‘inappropriate pictures of the sexual nature’ with a camera phone anyway. Sigrid is always taking it and I don’t want her find something she’ll very much regret.”

”I’m thankful for that.” He chuckled, kissing Thranduil again. “So, does that mean you did take pictures?”

A wicked grin curled on Thranduil’s lips. “I don’t know. You’ll just have to find out.”


	3. The Winter Solstice (Non-AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon asked: Christmas morning (or at least the Tolkien equivalent) and bard leads a blindfolded thran out to the woods and presents a young Elk to the king, thran at first is speechless and breaks down in happy tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written in the Tolkien universe before, so this was kind of fun. I hope to do more in the future! Enjoy!

The morning was cold and snow fell silently through the trees. Thranduil could only feel these things because he was blindfolded. Bard insisted that they come to the woods as soon as possible, even before the sun was up. Being that it was the Winter Solstice, Thranduil obliged. He could tell how excited the other was about his gift, this secret that he had kept for so long. After all the turmoil, all the sadness and pain, some happiness was needed. The leaves and icy crunched under their boots, Bard leading Thranduil by the crook of his elbow.

”Almost there.” He said, breaking the silence.

They had hardly said a word since leaving for the forest. The children were still asleep and Bard assured him they would be back before they woke.

”I trust you.” Thranduil whispered as Bard put the cloth over his eyes.

Bard stopped them, letting go of Thranduil’s hand. “Wait here a moment.” His feet walked a few paces forward. There was a rustling and something stamping, followed by a few snorts.

”You can take off the blindfold now.”

At first, Thranduil was blinded by the rays of sunlight coming through the branches. He blinked a few times, then saw Bard holding onto a rope tied to the bridle of a young elk. Thranduil inhaled softly, noticing that it was close to the same markings and color as the one he lost in the battle.

”I can’t tell you how long it took me to find one that would you would find suitable. Tauriel was sworn to secrecy, as well as Sigrid and Bain.”

The young elk snorted again, steam billowing him his nostrils. For a long time, Thranduil just stared at the beast. There were no words to describe what he felt. Slowly, he moved closer, threading his long fingers through it’s fur. It’s antlers were only stubs and it had a ways to go before it was strong enough to hold someone on it’s back, but it was a fine animal indeed.

”Well?” Bard asked.

Thranduil met Bard’s eyes. He knew what he wanted to say, the words were right there on his tongue, but somehow they wouldn’t leave his mouth. Instead, he pulled Bard into a hug, squeezing him much tighter than he had intended and before he could stop it, tears were brimming in his eyes.

It was rare that he let anyone see him so vulnerable and even rarer still to let anyone see him this emotional. The embrace surprised Bard, but he hugged him back with just as much force. When they finally let go, Thranduil was quickly wiping his eyes, leaving no sign of tears.

”He’s beautiful, Bard. I thank you.”

Bard smiled warmly. “I did it because you look so funny on a horse, honestly.”

Thranduil let out a deep laugh. “It’s not quite as intimidating, I can tell you that.” He looked back at the elk, rubbing his ears and letting it sniff him. “He’ll grow to be a noble companion.”

The Dragonslayer and the Elvenking smiled at each other, still holding onto each other, the snow falling around them.


	4. Bard and Thranduil Play Monopoly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Barduil Trash Buddies were talking about headcanons and prompts and someone mentioned Thranduil and Bard playing Monopoly and I just couldn't resist.

It was Thranduil’s idea to play Monopoly.

It was also his idea to drink wine while playing said game.

Bard didn’t think it was a good idea, but he obliged because he knew that Thranduil would pout otherwise. Besides, they had the house to themselves for the weekend, why not take advantage of it. He carefully laid out the board and handed over the money.

"Why can’t I be the banker?" Thranduil protested.

"Because, my dear heart, you tend to hoard the money and not give the right amounts."

"But I’m the banker, I can give whatever amount I want."

Bard sighed and shook his head. “Let’s just play, okay?”

The first part of the game started out civil and there was little to no cursing, even with more wine being consumed. That was until the properties were bought.

"Thranduil, you can’t just charge whatever you want! It says right there on the card how much it is for rent!"

"This goes back to the whole banker issue. It’s my property, I can charge whatever I want."

Bard put his hands over his face, trying to keep from going ape shit on his lover. It’s just a stupid game, he thought. Nothing but a stupid game. Oblige him so you can maybe have a nice evening.

"Can we just play by the rules and be done with it?" He asked, lower his hands.

Thranduil sighed dramatically. “Fine, just suck the fun out of everything.”

Bard snorted. “You don’t mind when I suck things.”

The look he was given was a mixture of complete doneness and mild arousal, judging by the tug of a smile at the corner of his lips. “Don’t change the subject just because you’re losing.”

"What are you even talking about, I’m ahead!"

Thranduil smirked. “I counted your possible jumps. Everywhere you land is one of my properties and since you were dumb and didn’t buy when you should have, you’re going to owe me money every time.”

He glared at the silver-haired jerk, trying to keep his cool. “It wouldn’t be so bad if you actually played according to the cards.”

"What’s the fun in that?"

"It’s fun because it’s not cheating!"

Thranduil’s eyebrows went up. “Woah. Maybe we should take a break, you’re getting a little heated over there.”

Bard inhaled and exhaled deeply. “I just want to get the game over with.”

"Fine, let’s play."

If it weren’t for the fact that Bard loved this man with all his being, he would slap that stupid smirk right off his face. And like Thranduil predicted, everywhere Bard landed was owned by the overlord and he owed his money. Bard had one bill left and he knew it wouldn’t be enough to be able to move on.

"I want to start over." Bard said, glaring at the board.

Thranduil scoffed. “What for? Just because I’m winning? Don’t be such a sore loser, Bard.”

And with that, Bard lost his temper. He grabbed the board, pieces and all and slung it across the room, stomping towards the door. “I am going for a walk, if you follow me I will punch you in that smug face of yours.” Then he opened it, marched out and slammed it behind him.

Thranduil didn’t even look back. He merely sat back in his chair and started counting his money.

It took a good forty-five minutes for Bard to come back and by that time, Thranduil had cleaned up the mess and was making dinner. He felt ashamed for losing his cool like that. It didn’t happen often and letting it show like that was rare. He knew it was a bad idea to play Monopoly, but at the same time that wasn’t any reason to throw a tantrum. Thankfully, Thranduil didn’t say anything about it. They ate dinner peacefully, talking and flirting like always and when it was time for bed, Thranduil held his hand as they went.

It wasn’t until they were snuggled up together that Bard felt the need to apologize.

"I’m sorry about earlier. I don’t know what came over me."

Thranduil was running his long fingers through Bard’s dark curls. “It’s understandable.”

"It is?" Bard looked at Thranduil.

"Mmhmm. I mean, you were losing pretty bad and I know how competitive you can get."

It took every muscle and nerve in Bard’s body to not fly off the handle again. How could be so ignorant to the real issue? Then he smiled sweetly, deciding to take a page out of Thranduil’s book.

"Yeah, so competitive." He leaned down, kissing his lover’s lips ever so tenderly. "But I don’t want to think about that right now."

Thranduil smirked, “You read my mind.” He nipped at Bard’s lip.

They kissed again and Bard moved to Thranduil’s neck, kissing and nipping the spot right under his ear. It brought out a low moan from Thranduil and Bard couldn’t help the sly smirk that crossed his lips.

"We are wearing entirely too many clothes," Thranduil breathed, instantly going for Bard’s sweatpants.

"Uh-uh." Bard said, pulling away. "Allow me." He stood off the bed and slowly removed his sweatpants, letting them pool around his ankles. The same for the underwear except he went even slower, bending and giving Thranduil a nice profile view of his ass. When he joined Thranduil again, his pupils were blown wide and he was biting his lip.

Bard had him right where he wanted.

He smirked as seductively as he could, kissing Thranduil. “Goodnight my love.” He then got under the covers and switched the bedside lamp off.

He couldn’t see the look on Thranduil’s face, but by the way he had gone completely motionless, he figured it was one of complete shock and probably anger. Finally, Thranduil stood up and walked to the bathroom.

"Touche, you asshole."

The other man stifled the laugh in the covers, then craned his neck to look at Thranduil. “Where are you going?”

Thranduil was shooting death from his eyes. “To take a cold shower.” Then he slammed the door.


End file.
